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Wednesday, December 17th, 2003
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Sunday, December 14th, 2003
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honestly everything is clear now. i know where i stand. its a lil shitty down here on the bottom. but i have to know thats what happens when you give them what they want and then some. it bites you in the ass.
all this time i fabricated everythign to make it seem natural, to lie and feel comfortable, (when thats a feeling i know longer know.) try to pretend im happy with it, bc you know what it was good to have that mirage of happiness. To make everyone else think it was cool and i was cool with it. deep down everyone fuckin knew it wasnt for me, it wasnt anything i needed. I lied to everyone bout it. i like to put on that show im strong independent dont need anything from anyone. guess what that was a crock of shit too. i give up. if i died now i wouldnt care. if i could run away today i would. if i could just do anything to make myself happy, no matter what means it would be done. so sianara
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6 Broken Hearts - Break Up With Me.
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Saturday, December 13th, 2003
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i have just found my true sister. someone i can go from all out fighting while one of us is prolly laughing at riiduclousness of our arguement, to pouring our souls, out to finishing our conversation with lets go smoke.
This is girl is my life, no matter who i hang out with regularly, how often we talk, how often we argue. Your still number one. We made it to a new stage, we are making it through everything
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1 Broken Heart - Break Up With Me.
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Friday, December 12th, 2003
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im not in a good mood. so just dont disagree with me.. you got your warning.. next time its over. im goin all out on everyone. i dont care how many friend i lose, how many fights i get in.. its fuckin bullshit, as to how much my life is ruined because of it, and im not sittin around and taking it anymore like i have for how long. so fuck this you all know how i feel do as you wish with this news.
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1 Broken Heart - Break Up With Me.
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Monday, December 8th, 2003
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hey this week has been pretty rough wityh being home not seeing too many people, and constant doctors appts. so what did i do? i cut my hair as usual
( check it out )
Friday i went to candis' bright and early though. Slept all day. Then we had a snowed in party with egg nog wine and vodka. It was real good times.. i beat robs ass which i do feel bad about but he just kept on messing with me. oh well. fell asleep, woke up and hung out with jules all day basically. then came home. Last night me greg chrissy jay and dany all crammed into a pick up and went to west philly to hang out with mike. i was being a bitch and making fun of people hmph. i kinda feel bad but they knew i did mean it. i woke uip at 10 tonight and i dont know what im gonna do well im out
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2 Broken Hearts - Break Up With Me.
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Friday, December 5th, 2003
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well as usual didnt do anything tonight. oh wait im lieing i got an mri. and different doctors stuff they through around a new word tonight. but im not supposted to know about it. then came home, sat around online. had some pretty good conversations tonight.
I watched my usual full house, then threes company, then some cosby. Then i watched Rule of Attraction.FUcked up movie lemme tlel you. I still dont know what went on but the things i did watch were ridiculous. I cut my hair tonight too. Shortest its ever been. It looks like shit, i think i may dye it today.
Me and Heather had a heartfelt conversation bout knowing each other. It made me happy <3 Honestly tonights one of the best nights ive had in awhile considerin i didnt do much.
Im not goin to school today either. im goin to candis' then goin with her to drive rob to school, then who knows. Heather is gonna come over, i think we are gonna make fun of protestors, damn veggie people. If i had some balls. I would eat chicken and throw eggs at them.. it would be great... maybe caryy around one of those rybber chickens with a nuse? around its neck. it would be awesome.
but im nice.. hopefully we will stop by wonderland too. it will be a good day.
Well im gonna go but talk to you later
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3 Broken Hearts - Break Up With Me.
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Thursday, December 4th, 2003
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Iwontfallforyou: brandon just move to the city
latedisposition: i am next year !
Iwontfallforyou: where at?
latedisposition: no idea yet. deciding to either live on campus or get an apartment with people
Iwontfallforyou: get an apt with me
Iwontfallforyou: where are you goin to school
latedisposition: alrighttttt
latedisposition: drexel
Iwontfallforyou: im goin to the art institute and thats like not evn 10 blocks away
latedisposition: thats incredible
latedisposition: we shoudl seirously live togheter
Iwontfallforyou: i know
Iwontfallforyou: we should
Iwontfallforyou: we would have so much fun
Iwontfallforyou: can we smoke all the time?
latedisposition: ohhhhhhhhhh yes
Iwontfallforyou: can we do it?
Iwontfallforyou: O:-)
latedisposition: we will buy a super deluxe incredible bong and put it next to the bed
latedisposition: ok better yet
Iwontfallforyou: nice
latedisposition: a hookah
Iwontfallforyou: what?
Iwontfallforyou: your gonna do a hooker?
latedisposition: and we can do it, all while sucking ont he hoeses
latedisposition: :-)
Iwontfallforyou: oh oaky i got confused
latedisposition: hahah
Iwontfallforyou: lol
Iwontfallforyou: most ridiculous conversationg ever
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Break Up With Me.
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Well im at home yet again. I dont know what to make of it. Its driving me nuts, but it really has been good to catch up on things, and have time to myself.
Ive decided over christmas break im goin on a trip. Im gonna go up north hopefully stopping to see friends in Rhode Island, Mass, Conneticuit. Maybe Stop some more places on my way. If anyone would like to join me feel free. Your defintly welcome. So now i have to save the lil money i have for this, and dedicate my time to making plans. If you would like to be a dear, and you live on the way. Let me crash at your house, bc we all know too well that im not made of money.
Ive made a bijillion cds today, mainly bc what else am i gonna do???
Bright Eyes. Fevers & Mirrors
Murder City Devils. In Name and Blood
Alkaline Trio. Good Morning
Cap'n Jazz. Mix
Sunny Day Real Estate. Mix
Interpol. Mix
Built to Spill. Mix
Samian
Hot Hot Heat. Knock Knock Knock
Q and not U. No Kill No Beep Beep
Blood Brother. March on Electric Children
Ive been thinking a lot lately, i dont know how i feel bout anything. Like this week has been driving me crazy. But i defintly did need the week off from EVERYTHING. Obviously. I dont want to have to make up the work though. that will suck. And im gonna get shit once i go back to school. Oh well I will live.
( Braces Yourselves This is Where it Gets REAL Emo )
Change is goood. I want to change a lot about me now. As soon as i get money comes change. I know it. First off Im gonna change my hair... im thinkin right now im gonna grow it out, till i get money, then cut it all one length or let it grow out enough to my ears, then layer the bottom. And a whole head full of different highlights. Thats what im goin for not just enough. Im also really gonna straighten my hair this time. Thats prolly bout it for the changes..
ive done a lot of shopping online for christmas presents for people. im almost done. Yay so everyone is gettin some simple, semi practical. Yet adorable gifts. I hope your nearly as excited as i am.
I havent got like one phone call all week :( more people should call me. that would be nice, or feel free to stop by bc im bored outta my mind and i miss all of you.
And candis' mom should come over and take care of me. we talked bout it last night. hehehhe.
well i think im done rambling on. Later
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4 Broken Hearts - Break Up With Me.
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2003
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everyone send me your email address so i can send you all invites to my christmas party, and send you all christmas cards.
too_weak_to_stand@hotmail.com
or message me on myspace.
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1 Broken Heart - Break Up With Me.
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tonight has been hella random.
well anyways. i have a kidney infections. which mean hospital tomorrow morning. possibly over night. how gross is that. people should call my cell phone and visit me. bc its gonna be scary.
but anyways. yea. tongiht was super random. this whole week has been super random. the other day i deleted 166 people off my buddy list, bc i havent talked to them. and so many of those people have imed me the past few days since.
plus ive been gettin alotta offers lately
a guy imed me asking if i wanted to have a 3some with him and his friend
2 people wanted to cyber with me
a guy wanted me to run away to cali with him
a guy said he would would jerk in my face
and joe imed me. whcih is random in itself, it got followed up by a phone call.
so yea i havent known what to make of these days. i think imso sick that im delerius. thats it. i cant move.. i feel like im bein punched in the back repeatedly.
i want someone to hold me tight right now. tell me everything is gonna be all right, and kiss me like ive never really been kissed. it would make my life 10 times better right now.
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Break Up With Me.
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Tuesday, December 2nd, 2003
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Well i thought bout what i want with my life. Things i want to do to be happy. I want to travel most of all.
So-Cal
Las Vegas
France
Italy
Germany
Sweden
England
Ireland
Figi
Aspen
In the next 3 years i want to go to eahc of those places, plus i want to live in New York City, and in Boston for a short time. If anyone would like to accompany to any of the following or hook me up, and if you live there. lemme stay with you.
This is what my main mission is. and i need to be as spontaneous as possible.. and go with things.
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2 Broken Hearts - Break Up With Me.
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Monday, December 1st, 2003
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Well okay im not there for like a night, and what happens???? ya shit on me.
then i have to deal with yesterdays bullshit.
this weekend was off the wall... and too much drama. i think im gettin kicked outta my house. and outta school :(
i should prolly do something bout both of them.
oh well i could fuck care less. anyone im nice to shits on me. so fuck that.
go away... never come back.... i really dont care if i hear from ya again. bc its fucked up. i cant trust anyone.
im tired of everyone being soooo shitty. i wish i was drunk now, or high. that would make me feel a lot better at this point. fuckers.
bleh i jinxed myself saying how much i loved my life nd bullshit. way to go dickhead.
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Break Up With Me.
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Sunday, November 30th, 2003
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Before i start anything i must say i need a fake id and i need a car ridiculously. Its not even funny. how bad both of these are needed.
So Friday ngiht for starters was amazing. Heather got me with matt at like 7ish. We went to canids' aunts and immediately started smoking..... soon after we started the drinking. It didnt take long for me to be gone. By the time people started showing up, i was gone. so needless to say i had a good night. me and heather were partying with her brother and turtle who had a gun. random. then all the juniata people started showing up. which was awesome haven seen them in how long? then stoney and mike came. paul was confusing me and i thought he was giving me an attitude but i came to realize it was bc i was drunk. so i stayed till bout 12ish then we were out. went to stoneys, watched the mexican, then it kept me up half the night... then after i fell asleep the alarm was goin offf forever. but i didnt wanan turn it offf bc i wasnt sure bout his work situation. so i chilled there till bout noon. then i came home, and went to amys bc i forgot my key. i tried to find a ride up to north jersey for a show didnt work out too well.
Round 10 i met heather. and we got wings..... mmmmmm i dont eat wings enough. so anyways on my way i ran into andy and all these kids from gradeschool. then on the way back i ran into nick antonelli. like 20 mins later he called me and told me to come chill.. so i go to his house, and steph day and mike harkins are there. but nick fell asleep. so matt bogowski started a fire outside the fire station? still havent figured that out. then me and mike left, and we went to the bar in juniata. it was weird. so i called stoney to see if he was comin home and wanted to chill. after the bar we went to grecos drank there, smoked a whole lot. then we went for a refreshing walk. i got in a fight with kevin, bleh... then came back to grecos at like 6. i slept he drove me home at noon, and i just woke up.. im pissed bc i wanted to go to the show today and now i have no ride. so oh well . i will find something to do tonight. i like to be a bum
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6 Broken Hearts - Break Up With Me.
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Friday, November 28th, 2003
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i was supposted to go to the football game yesterday with kim and jayme, but i overslept. im a bum. i woke up like 3 ish then went to meet muff to get my cell phone. we came back to my house, ate dinner, and muff had some pie. my parents were really lame but it was funny. and muff was being weird i loved it. i sat around online alll day petty much. last night round 8ish stoney picked me up and we went to his house. we smoked, kissed, and watched family guy. it was good times.. fell asleep around 12. Dans damn alarm woke me up at like 6 am. he kept on hitting the snooze button though, and i just wanted to lay there and in the sheets. Then he had to go wake up ferraro, and george. and the three of them are nuts in the morning. my main mission is to get home as soon as possible so i can go back to bed. while they are singing and getting all crazy. it was 7 in the fuckin morning. those boys are nuts.. that crack me up. so then i slept till bout 3 and sat around. my life is awesome
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5 Broken Hearts - Break Up With Me.
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x. name = Melissa
x. birthday = 2.1
x. piercings = ears
x. tattoos = soon enough
x. height = 5'1
x. shoe size = 7
x. hair color = brownish
x. length = lvery very short
x. siblings = none
x. pets = 1 rodger
last
x. movie you rented = say anything
x. movie you bought = some like it hot
x. song you listened to = Jets to Brazil. william tell override
x. song that was stuck in your head = hey ya. oukast
x. song you've downloaded = Interpol
x. cd you bought = elvis
x. person you've called = chris
x. person that's called you = stoney
x. tv show you've watched = brady bunch
x. you have a bf or gf = i think so i dont have serious it is
x. you have a crush on someone = stone
x. you wish you could live somewhere else = figi
x. you think about suicide = i did before
x. others find you attractive = i gyess
x. you want more piercings = yea a few
x. you want more tattoos = yea
x. you drink = yes
x. you do drugs = yea
x. you smoke = yea
x. you like cleaning = as long as its not mine
x. you like roller coasters = yes
x. you write in cursive or print = really depends
x. you carry a donor card = no
for or against...
x. long distance relationships = against
x. using someone = against
x. suicide = against
x. killing people = against
x. teenage smoking = for
x. doing drugs = for
x. premarital sex = for
x. driving drunk = AGAINST
x. gay/lesbian relationships = for
x. soap operas = for..
Favourite
x. song = jets to brazil. sweet avenue
x. thing to do = smoke
x. thing to talk about= photo
x. sports = soccer rugby
x. drinks = water
x. clothes= jeans jacket tshirt
x. movies = say anything
x. band = lifetime
x. holiday = halloween
x. cars = volkswagons
x. ever cried over a boy = yes
x. ever lied to someone = who hasn't
x. ever been in a fist fight = too many
x. ever been arrested = yea
what...
x. shampoo do you use = soem curl shit
x. shoes do you wear = adidas
x. are you scared of = lonely
number...
x. of times I have been in love? = ive mistaken too many for love
x. of times I have had my heart broken? = none realy
x. of hearts I have broken? = none
x. of girls I have kissed? = 3
x. of continents I have lived in? = i visited other continents does that count?
x. of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life type friends? = 5
x. of people I consider my enemies? kevin
x. of people from high school that I stayed in contact with? i am in high school
x. of times my name has appeared in the newspaper? = a bunch
x. of scars on my body? = head shoulders knees and toes
x. of things in my past that I regret? = a good 20
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Break Up With Me.
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I feel really bad for not saying what i thankful for on thanksgiving. I have a lot to be thankful for too. I kept on thinking of it yesterday.
I love school, i am really lucky everything worked out so well this year. i can wait for it to be over, but i definly will look back and know i had a lot of fun.
my family has been good to be lately. they havent berated me, and even though they annoy the hell outta me i still love em.
most of all i have the fuckin best friends ever. its so fuckin awesome. no matter what night of the week. i can honestly say i go out have a good time, and dont really do much shit. i love my friends to death. they are fuckin awesome.
i honestly have the best life ever. its good times. i have much variety and make everything ay interesting. i love my life.
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2 Broken Hearts - Break Up With Me.
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Tuesday, November 25th, 2003
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Tonight i downloaded a whole shit load of jets to bazil, murder city devils, my bloody valentine, outkast, and get up kids songs.
Im kinda happy with how things are now. there is a bit of uncertainty but thats natural. i trust this. i hope this doesnt bite me in the ass. im sittin here being productive. not even. hahaha
im just being bored tryin to make sense of things.
thats me staring away. thats how i feel/look all winter long it puts me in such a bleh mood, . i dont know why im saying all this but whatev im out
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1 Broken Heart - Break Up With Me.
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Monday, November 24th, 2003
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well this weekend was pretty good.
friday night me nikki mike and liz went to the diner, saturday went to ddd got a few pics but i cant find my cable to load them yet. then me and vinnie went to ryans where we drank and smoked all night. i got sick. came home didnt do much. round 8ish i went over to stoney and casey came over with dave. it was cool.
car accidents suck. i cant move my neck or my shoulder. i dont dig this in the least
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Break Up With Me.
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1. Whats your name? melissa
2. Whats your sex? femme
3. Would you hump the person that wrote the one your reading now? hmmmmm
4. Whats your favorite position? on the bottom with my legs up
5. Why is that your favorite position? it can go a lot harder and fasrer
6. Craziest place you ever had sex? no where real random i dont think
7. Ever had a 3 some? nope
8. When is the last time you had sex? yesterday
9. Do you ever feel guilty about sex? no
10. Ever hook up with an ex because the sex was good? yeaaa
11. Ever been walked in on during sex? yesssss
12. Ever took pictures or video? no doin it
13. What is something you did during sex that you would probably never do again? i dont know?
14. If you were an animal in the sex world, what would it be and why? a kitty
15. Did you lie on some of these answers because they are a little to open? just two
1. Do you consider yourself perverted? nope
2. Have you ever deflowered a virgin? sure
3. Do you like oral sex? ehhh its alright
4. If you give head do you swallow? yea
5. How would you rate your intensity of sexual desire? so-so
6. Are you Promiscous? no
7. Do you ever regret sleeping with someone? not really
8. Do you have Phone Sex? no
9. Have you ever had a sexual experience that defies your "normal" orientation? what?
10. Do you find Feet, Toes, or Shoes attractive? not in the least bit
11. Ever peeped on Someone? nope
12. Have you ever slapped, spanked, or whipped someone during sex? nope
13. Have you ever used excrement during sex? no
14. Have you ever let you boyfriend/girlfriend wear your underwear? no
15. Rough or Soft Sex? rough
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Break Up With Me.
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suppagirl's journal
relieved.
rejected.
nostalgic.
aggravated.
annoyed.
anxious.
complacent.
sick.
numb.
sleepy.
thankful.